I'd love to do your job, but let's get real here.    To insure your happiness as a customer (and ultimately mine as a caterer), I want to make sure you have the right guy for your job.    Reasons NOT to hire us:

1A   The Party is Too Large.     50-180ppl is standard for us.    Our current equipment base can properly support around 700 people or so,  but the menu becomes simplistic.     Any larger, and we're off the beaten path, but gaining more experience each year.     We're willing to take a job for a much larger headcount, but it will entail pulling in additional resources and partnering with other contacts in the industry.   I'm positive we can pull it off, and certainly want to increase our capacity....but it is a stretch.   You'd be in "guinea-pig" status.  I've written a page specifically addressing events to Very Large Headcounts.   Call to discuss.   

1B.  The Party is Too Small.     50 people is the minimum where it makes sense to use my services.    Please read my comments on Small Event Pricing.

2.  Fanciness.   If you're looking for a classic, multi-course fancy affaire with linens, uniformed white gloved servers, fine china, ice sculptures, full open bar...I'm simply not the right guy for your job.    "Perfection", although certainly a goal, is not always achieved.    My presentation is normally "Mid-Level" fanciness;    Plastic Tablecloths as opposed to linens, Wireframe Steamtables as opposed to the fancy Metal ones, Single Use Plastic Utensils, Heavy Duty Paper Plates....    The "Preparation H" box I grabbed from the box bin at the Costco to carry the backup stacks of paper plates might be clearly visible to the crowd under my tables.   Well, you get the idea...        Casual, Non-pretentious.   Functionality over Fanciness.     But we don't skimp on the food!     (Many of the pictures contained in the website should give you a good feeling for "Fanciness", and some upscaling options.   Poke around.).  

3.  Distance:    Although I'm mobile, traveling much farther than 120 miles/2 hours from Denville represents some unusual logistical hurdles, particularly for larger headcount jobs.     But I do travel all over the NYC/NJ/CT/PA region, with associated price adjustments for fuel/time.   More of a concern these days is the inability to take a second job that weekend, due to the far-away job.    Please Call to discuss.  

4.  Weekday Affair:    I have a full time job during normal weekday business hours.   Catering is usually limited to Saturdays or Sundays, and occasional Fridays..    I will make exceptions from time to time, particularly if you're willing to empty your bank account into mine, but otherwise, weekday affairs are really tough..  Call to discuss.

5.    You're Engaging in Extreme Cost Cutting:    I have packages that can accommodate most reasonable budgets, but there comes a point where your financial constraints simply paints my operation in a bad light.  (Your guests are unaware that you forced me to cut prices to the bone...they just notice the cheapest quality hot dogs and the lack of mustard...so they peg ME as a LAME CATERER).   To "Save Money", I don't rely on your guests for manpower either.     I've learned that I'm better off passing on these types of jobs in the long run.    Read "pricing" for a more detailed explanation.    Also, if your headcount is small, and you're really trying to cut the budget to the bone, please read the discussion on Small Event Pricing.

6.   You're Unreliable:    Can't pay on time?   Can't follow thru on promises?  Say one thing, do another?   Just another BS-er?  Don't return phone calls?    I WALK.     It's really that simple.    I've dealt with all of that before, and there's a particularly low tolerance for it.     In fact, many of my policies have been developed specially for those purposes.

7.    You Can't "Let Go":     If you're going to hire us, let us shine!     We don't Co-Cater events with you.      By all means, handle the appetizers, cakes, cookies, desserts, drinks, coffee service....and even other primary menu items.       As long as it's all served from tables set up in another area, supported by your utensils/paper/plastic products, and it doesn't interfere with, impact, or reflect upon my operation in any way, we're totally cool with it.        But from the EPPO Serving tables, we will not accommodate Guest & Host Provided Food Items. 

These are just a few examples of what we're trying to avoid:   1.)   100 people sickened by Aunt Tessie's Special Homemade Potato Salad with the unidentified crunchy dark bits in it, prepared with her unwashed hands that only minutes before, fumbled with the cap of her colostomy bag,  prepared in her cockroach-infested, dog-hair-covered kitchen, sun-baked for 3 hours on the dashboard of her 1968 Chevy Impala with the broken air-conditioning, during her trip up from Philly in an August Heat wave....  2.)  Well-meaning Hired Hands who only manage to interfere with our operations.   3.)  Equipment Loss which always happens when gear is co-mingled.    4.)  Items that don't merge with safe holding/serving apparatus.  (Ex. Aunt Mildred's Oval Roaster pan of Lukewarm Baked Beans that doesn't fit into our rectangular steamtables).    The list goes on...

8.    You Can't Control your Pets/Children or Guests):  The Food Preparation Area is a Hazardous Zone, off limits to guests, children and pets.   We'll use natural barriers, yellow caution tape, tables, signs, etc, to clearly define our area.    We have hot roasters with red-hot, sharp components, king cookers with gallons of boiling liquids, cooks with knives in their hands, and we're all rushing around like mad, so it's a recipe for disaster if people or pets distract us, or get in our way.          There's NO COMMERCIAL KITCHEN that allows pets in the food prep area...it's just not sanitary (Drool/Slobber, Hair, Parasites).      I realize your pets are considered part of your family.   But if little "FiFi" becomes a tripping hazard, then to us, it's nothing more than a potential visit to a Burn Center or an Emergency room.      Put bluntly, if you can't control your pets, then I simply shouldn't work for you.        My approach is now a three tiered approach:   I'm going to ask nicely a few times.    Then out comes the leashes.    If by then, the problem remains unresolved, we'll pull the plug per my policies!   Maybe your guests will enjoy the Purina Puppy Chow instead.

9.    You're a difficult person:    Tough to describe this one.    But if you find yourself with frequent heated arguments with your coworkers, or have problems retaining the services of professional contractors, or like to hit spouses, children and pets, or enjoy treating waiter/waitresses like crap, or generally are a miserable, negative person who projects his/her problems onto others.....chances are good that our personalities will not mesh, and problems will erupt.     Call somebody else.

10.    Seriously Bad Logistics:    We can accomplish the mission in some very unusual spots.   We throw money and manpower on it, and we can usually get the job done.   But logistics plays a major role in what we can and can't accomplish.       Please click Here to see a page specifically built to address logistical issues.

11.    Last Minute Planning:    Well, you can try to see if I'm available, and things sometimes may work in your favor (last minute cancellations).    But people who try to hire me within 4 days of the event, are very often disappointed, and if I DO happen to be available... will get hit with excessive fees.     You're far better off trying to coordinate with me a few months ahead of time, to allow the plans to mature gracefully. 

Please Call (973) 627-2722 to Discuss Your Event.  Usually 6pm-10pm, Weeknights.  Please leave a Message otherwise.   Also be sure to mention the potential date(s), estimated headcount, location, and the nature of the event.     Thanks!

CLICK HERE TO GO BACK TO EPPO's HOMEPAGE