The Sticky Squirt-June 15, '05

 

I am always in pursuit of ways to optimize the operation.   Whatever I can do to improve the operation, I'll do.    I have no problems with experimenting with new techniques or equipment.     My general hopes are to 1.)  Improve the taste or quality of the food 2.)  Make my life easier.  3.) Make the crew's life easier. 4.) Improve food safety  5.) Make it more efficient in some way.   6.) Perhaps even lower costs.

 

So, in the pursuit of Pig Roast perfection, I've been trying numerous ways to "prep" the pig before it goes into the roaster.   My "default" prep is to rub a dry rub into the interior cavity of the pig.      Once in a while, to play around, I'll inject some liquids right into the pig.    I've tried different things, such as Pineapple juice, brines, and that sort of thing.      I also use a Commercially available Teriyaki Marinade, which is a very thick liquid.  The Viscosity is somewhere near Pancake Syrup, Motor Oil, Or a Thin Molasses.      

 

My "Injector" was a device commonly available in your specialty Kitchen Supply houses.     Sort of an Oversized Hypodermic needle.   The problem with this thing was the "payload" was rather small.    It held maybe 2 oz.'s of marinade, if that.   Good for a Chicken, or even a Turkey, but nowhere near the capacity I needed for frequent work with 100-125lb pigs, or 30lb Hunks of Beef..     As you can imagine, refilling this dumb needle 15 gazillion times was a pain in the my @ss. 

 

Imagine my joy when I found a new injector at some flea market.   This was a plastic squeeze bottle, with an injector tip on it.  The Plastic Bottle was similar to that of the Squeeze Ketchup container that you'd find on the Counter of a Boardwalk Burger Joint.    I was thrilled with the new payload of maybe 14 oz.'s.   And since it was only $2.00!!!  I bought 4!  (Eddie *loves* a bargain!!!)

 

So I have a pigroast in support of another caterer.    This was a Golf Outing to a Bunch of Township Officials, down in the Flemington Area, performed right on the Golf Course.   An important event to High level people!    The primary caterer, a BBQ Specialist, provided all other foods, but did not have the equipment to perform a Roast.  So he subcontracted to me.   All I had to do is roast the pig, and hand it off to him.    He carves, Sauces, and serves it.    It's a very simple job for me, which I do alone.  The only caveat, is that I need a set of hands onsite at the beginning of the roast, for roughly 10 minutes,  just to help me maneuver the pig and get the pig onto the grill.  The only one around was the "Jim", the Manager of the Golf Course Hospitality.

 

So here comes Eddie, all psyched to use his new Marinator.   I fill it with this Thick teriyaki marinade, and I get on with the pig injecting.    Manager Jim is kneeling besides the pig, holding it by the legs to keep it on it's back while I inject the pig's underside.     

 

Then it happened.    I was squeezing the bottle so hard, that the Lid Popped off!!!   Thick, Sticky Teriyaki Marinade exploded all over my face, arms, legs, pants, glasses....and Much to my horror, got "Jim" too.    Fortunately, Jim Laughed it off, washed himself off, changed shirts, and generally took it well.   I washed off as best as I could, and switched clothing too.      But I pretty much felt like the stupidest idiot going.   

 

Later in the day, the bees took high interest in my sticky footwear though.   

 

A lesson re-learned was to carry extra clothing to any foodservice operation.  You just never know what's gonna spill or splash on you.     And with Hindsight, I should've known that any piece of equipment found at a flea market, costing only $2.00 would be a worthless hunk of sh*t.   And there in lies the true stupidity of this incident.   Eddie, once again, you are an idiot!

 

 

 

 

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